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Brief Chance Interaction
A young woman watches the snow fall outside the window, wondering if her day could get any worse. Her Mondays are always like this. Her hair is a mess because her alarm didn’t go off this morning, making her late for work. There is a small tear in the arm of her shirt because it got caught on one of the machines. Her pale skin has red, blotchy spots where coffee has been spilled on her. A chocolate syrup stain is prevalent on the right corner of her apron. She glances at the clock and sighs, realizing she has only been here for an hour.
The bitter chill of winter creeps through the door as a new patron steps into the Starbucks. He shakes snow off his brown leather shoes, taking care not to track water across the floor as the snow melts. He unravels a beige scarf as he crosses the shop and heads to the counter. His entry is unremarkable, yet the way he composes himself commands the attention of everyone in the store.
He does not lean on the counter, nor shift weight from one leg to the other as he calmly orders his beverage. A gloved hand reaches into the pocket of his ironed khakis, removing an earth-toned billfold. The server smiles kindly as she takes the credit card from his hand, swiping the magnetic strip through their machine. She meets his gaze as she reaches to hand it back, but her grip is imperfect and the card clatters on the counter. Her pale complexion turns crimson as she mumbles an apology, eyes cast at her feet, but the gentle response of the gentleman brings confidence back under her command.
They both reach for the card, hands grazing unintentionally. Their eyes lock momentarily, and he smiles before placing his card back in his billfold. He steps around the counter to wait for his drink, aloofly watching the girl as she helps the next person in line. Her face is alive and serene, as though his gentle interaction has granted her an angelic fluidity and grace. The gentleman takes his steaming coffee and shares one final smile with the young woman before braving the cold outside. The young woman hums a tune to herself as she works, her day brightened by a brief chance interaction.
Ooh I just love those moments. It’s amazing how something like that, even if you never see them again, can turn your whole day around. Wonderfully written.
I love how this Starbucks piece started with the barista. And what an uplifting theme: small kindnesses do make a difference. This writing was like a breath of fresh air. Ellen
Like a breath of fresh air…I’ll have to make sure I update my bio to include that statement about my writing! Thanks for the feedback.
No, no longer on this one – it’s like those times when you look in a window or overhear a snippet of a conversation and get a flash of what’s going on and then it’s gone…this segment is the flash – to add to it would lessen its evocative nature
My thoughts exactly. It works well as flash, and I’d be afraid an expansion would ruin it.
This was nice – Deep down, perhaps we’re all just lonely souls looking for a connection.
Love when these kinds of events occur. They don’t have to be romantic, as is implied here. Just humans reminding each other that there are like-minded folks around as well. I enjoyed this.
Yeah, it is awesome how much a small gesture can help someone out. Thanks for the comment.
Great job capturing this encounter! It felt real and the chemistry you evoked was awesome. I’d definitely consider turning this into a longer tale. I want to see where it takes the young woman with her pale skin and rotten Mondays
Thanks Katie. I really appreciate the feedback from such a great writer!
Great write. I always admire how people can make images so vivid. Good job.
Thanks a lot for the compliment!
I agree with the others, you need to turn this into a series! I want MORE!
Thanks. I’ll be sure to at least provide something similar in the future.
I know that feeling and it is a good one. Are you going to expand on this story?
I’m honestly undecided about this. I feel like I could, but at the same time I’d hate to ruin a good thing!
I like this – I think it works very well as a short piece. I’m sure it could be expanded on well too, and this would be an excellent “where it all began” piece. Regardless of what you do with it, I enjoyed it as is!
Thank you!
I disagree. I don’t want to see more of this. I want to see more of your writing because it’s engrossing and beautiful, but this was perfect for me as a nugget. I almost don’t want to know more about the two because I love being left with the point being the spark of kindness between strangers, which you illustrate beautifully. Love it!
Finally someone who sees it the way I did. I debated long and hard over turning it into a bigger story, but thought that it might lose its power in the expansion. The anonymity of this makes it so it could be any two people, which I think is part of its strength.
And thank you so much for the compliment about my writing. I’ll certainly try to post more for you to read!
It’s interesting how so many of us feel the need to keep to ourselves, but just getting a glimpse of kindness can change your day.
We really do keep to ourselves. It is unfortunate, because you are right that a glimpse of kindness can change a person’s day. Being positive is infectous.
It’s lovely how such a simple gesture can make someone see things so differently. Great post!
I think this should be part one of a series. Maybe you can write your own 50 Shades of Grey, then I would read that rather than the book! Nice!
A very nicely written story. I too wanted to hear more. I didn’t yearn for them to fall mady in love, but perhaps they share an acquaintance. Perhaps he is blind. I just wanted it to continue…
Blind would be interesting, but somehow I don’t think it would fit well. Hmmm…
Awww… so beautifully written. Would love to read what’s next
Thanks for the compliment! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Why doesn’t this ever happen to me at my morning Starbucks?! I will just have to live vicariously through your beautifully written story.
Maybe you need to change your Starbucks location? Thanks for the compliment. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Hahah I like it. Is there a part 2?
I almost feel like there has to be, based on the feedback so far!
Nice sentiment. Random acts of kindness make the world go round. Acknowledging coffee baristas who probably can’t afford to purchase their own product on a daily basis is a good way to start. In the way of constructive criticism, “angelic fluidity” might be a bit much – for me.
Thanks for the criticism! While I love seeing praise flow freely, it is really the constructive criticism that will make these better. I’ll be sure to modify that for the extended version that I clearly need to write!
MORE!!!
I was wondering if I should leave it as a simple flash fiction piece or turn it into a bigger story. I take it you’d encourage the latter?
This was really nice. The way we treat each other matters, and kindness makes a difference…even if it’s entirely unspoken.
Thanks for the compliment. I completely agree that sometimes it just takes one act of kindness to turn a person’s day around.